Grief Is My Side Hustle

Ep. 50. The Grieving Brain: Mary-Frances O’Connor PhD

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

Mary-Frances O’Connor, PhD is an associate professor of psychology at the University of Arizona, where she directs the Grief, Loss and Social Stress (GLASS) Lab, which investigates the effects of grief on the brain and the body. O’Connor earned a doctorate from the University of Arizona in 2004 and completed a fellowship at UCLA. Following a faculty appointment at UCLA Cousins Center for Psychoneuroimmunology, she returned to the University of Arizona in 2012. Her work has been published in the American Journal of Psychiatry, Biological Psychiatry, and Psychological Science, and featured in Newsweek, the New York Times, and The Washington Post. Having grown up in Montana, she now lives in Tucson, Arizona. For more information go to https://www.maryfrancesoconnor.com/

 

 

Loss of a loved one is something everyone experiences, and for as long as humans have existed, we have struggled when a loved one dies. Poets and playwrights have written about the dark cloak of grief, the deep yearning, and devastating heartache of loss. But until now, we have had little scientific perspective on this universal experience.  In THE GRIEVING BRAIN: The Surprising Science of How We Learn from Love and Loss (HarperOne; February 1, 2022; Hardcover) renowned grief expert, neuroscientist, and psychologist Mary-Frances O’Connor, Ph.D., shares groundbreaking discoveries about what happens in our brain when we grieve, providing a new paradigm for understanding love, loss, and learning.

 

In The Grieving Brain, O’Connor, who has devoted decades to researching the effects of grief on the brain, reveals a fascinating new window into one of the hallmark experiences of being human. She makes cutting-edge neuroscience accessible and guides us through how we encode love and grief. With love, our neurons help us form attachments to others; but, with loss, our brain must come to terms with where our loved ones went, and how to imagine a future that encompasses their absence. Significantly, O’Connor debunks Kubler-Ross’ enduring idea of the “Five Stages of Grief” and sets a new paradigm for understanding grief on a neurological level.  

Ep. 49. Grieving Mother: Megan Hillukka

Grief and Loss supporter and content creator Megan Hillukka's beautiful baby, Aria, died in her sleep 2.5 years ago.  She wasn't sick she just never woke up.  Since that impossible day, Megan spends every day grieving and living, using the tools she learned and now teaches to others.

Join us for this moving conversation on how to move forward carrying grief.

https://www.meganhillukka.com

Ep. 48. Creator of Grief and Grits: Randi Pearlman Wolfson

Join Meghan for this discussion with Grief and Grits creator, Rani Pearlman Wolfson. Randi talks about her experience as a lifelong griever, and the legacy of hope she has created in with her children's book and her educational platform

 

https://www.griefandgrits.com

Ep. 47. Inez Ribustello: Author of Life After Windows

On 9/11 Inez Ribustello worked her dream job at Windows on the World at the top of the World Trade Center.  She lost 85 friends and colleagues. Inez talks to me about what it has meant to build a life after such tremendous loss. 

 

Eastern North Carolina native, Inez Ribustello, got her start in the world of food and wine after moving to New York City to pursue a career in cooking. She chose New York’s Institute of Culinary Education to jumpstart her new path, where she began to learn about wine. From there, she worked at Best Cellars, the groundbreaking, mid-priced wine store on Manhattan’s Upper East Side. Her wine career took a huge leap forward when she became an Assistant Cellar Master at the renowned World Trade Center restaurant Windows on the World. In a very short time, she was promoted to Beverage Director, putting her in the position as wine buyer for the largest grossing restaurant in North America. 

 

The terrorist attacks on September 11, 2001 impacted her both personally and professionally.

Having lost friends, colleagues, and her job in the attacks, she had to face her future. She chose

to throw herself into her work and took the position of Beverage Director for Blue Fin Restaurant

in the W Hotel-Times Square. Her work received rave reviews from New York Magazine

Ep. 46. Eileen Robertson Hamra

Meghan Talks to Eileen about her Book Time to Fly which tells the story of losing her beloved husband Brian in a plane crash on Christmas Eve when her three children were very small.  Creator of Fit Together, Eileen is a believes in taking care of your body, and also your mind.  Her book Time to fly highlights her belief that we are still connected even in death and all the signs we can receive if we are open to it.

https://www.eileenrobertsonhamra.com

Ep. 45. Disenfranchised Grief with journalist/author Simon Kuper from The Financial Times

In This bonus episode I talk with journalist Simon Kuper about his recent article on Disenfranchised Grief in the Financial Times.  Simon explores the feelings of those left behind when an unvaccinated loved one dies of COVID.

 

https://www.ft.com/content/a1b5350a-4dba-40f4-833b-1e35199e2e9b

Ep. 44 Leslie Gray Streeter: Author of Black Widow

In this laughter filled episode Meghan talks with Leslie Gray Streeter, author of the beautiful book Black Widow, about the sudden death of Leslie's husband, Scott.  This show covers music, friendships, dating, and honoring the love that is left behind.

 

Leslie Gray Streeter:

Born in hood-adjacent Baltimore City, Leslie is a University of Maryland College Park graduate, a veteran journalist and someone always looking for new ways to tell stories, both her own and those in her communities. She also really likes vegan cheese, because she’s a now a vegan and can’t eat real cheese anymore. But she’s mostly cool with it.

Leslie has done a lot of cool media situations, mostly from some bedroom or other, since “Black Widow” came out. It’s not the tour she chose, or even the world she thought she or anyone else were living in, but this book has found people in their lowest moment and helped them feel they were a little less alone.

Ep. 43. Susan Kendal: Surviving Compound Grief and Loss

On May 20, 2014, Susan’s world came crashing down. Her 54-year old husband passed of a sudden heart attack. The years since have been a whirlwind of emotion, trauma & joy (yes, joy, thanks mostly to the birth of her grandchildren).

Over the next five years, Susan experienced additional heartache following the death of her dad & both of her brothers. She knew the only way to make sense of all her grief and honour her ‘men’ was to find purpose and help others experiencing loss.

So, she increased her vast experiential knowledge with a coaching certificate and David Kessler’s grief educator certification.

Each step along her path highlighted the necessity to shatter the taboo surrounding death and grief within society.

Death is still in the shadows. We squirm and avoid it at all costs. And the costs, both emotional and financial are tremendous.

Thankfully, many societal taboos such as mental health, cancer and sexual orientation have had a light shined on them providing an opportunity for healthy dialogue, normalization and respect.

Isn’t it odd that we avoid death - the only taboo that affects all of us?

Susan hopes to encourage an annual day where we dialogue and educate about all things death.

Let’s normalize death – before it kills you.

For more information, conversation and opportunities to get involved, please reach out to Susan at evolve beyond grief.

 https://www.evolvebeyondgrief.com/

 https://www.instagram.com/evolvebeyondgrief/

https://www.facebook.com/evolvebeyondgrief

evolvebeyondgrief@gmail.com

Ep. 42. Deborah Copaken: Author/photojournalist: Lady Parts, Shutterbabe

Deborah Copaken is the New York Times bestselling author of several books, including Shutterbabe, The Red Book, and Between Here and April, among others. A contributing writer at The Atlantic, she was also a TV writer on Emily in Paris, a performer (The Moth, etc.), and an Emmy Award–winning news producer and photojournalist. Her photographs have appeared in Time, Newsweek, and The New York Times. Her writing has appeared in The New Yorker, The New York Times, The Guardian, The Financial Times, Observer, The Wall Street Journal, The Nation, Slate, O, the Oprah Magazine, and Paris Match, among others. Her column “When Cupid Is a Prying Journalist” was adapted for the Modern Love streaming series. Her seventh book, Ladyparts, a memoir of bodily destruction and resurrection during marital rupture, was just published by Random House.

Her article about the anniversary of her father's death and her sub stack is here:

https://deborahcopaken.substack.com/p/love-loss-and-dads-deaths-bar-mitzvah

 

 

Ep. 41. Shea Wingate

Two years ago, when she was in her early twenties, therapist Shea Wingate's father, sister and mother died in the same year.  Join us as we discuss loss from prolonged illness versus sudden unexpected loss, navigating grief when your peers and planning weddings and surviving multiple deaths.

 

https://www.wingatecounseling.com

 

Shea Wingate is a licensed clinical social worker. Her work centers on supporting clients through times of grief, transition, and emotional difficulty. She believes therapy is a process and an investment in yourself. She strives to create a nonjudgemental space centered on your well-being and free from the demands and noise of life. No one will ever fully know your pain, but her goal is to equip you to navigate, adapt and heal.